Navigating Homesickness and Normalizing the Emotions That Come Along with It

Homesickness. It’s the kind of thing you know you should be grateful for because it’s a reminder of the people behind it that you adore. But at the same time, it can weigh you down with feelings of selfishness, guilt, and sadness. With the holiday season coming to an end, this topic feels as though it’s flashing with bright lights in my mind, urging me to write about it.

No matter how far away you are from home or the people you love, everyone has experienced homesickness in some form. Yet, I feel like the feelings around it are rarely talked about openly. Raised in Los Angeles, CA, attending The University of Alabama, and now living in Atlanta, GA—roughly 2,183 miles away from my family—has meant countless goodbyes over the last four and a half years. This past Christmas, I was so thankful to have six days off work to travel home and see my family. The week was everything I imagined and more, but it also came with that looming reminder in my head: brace yourself for the airport goodbye.

At 5 a.m., a couple of hours before my parents were set to drive me to the airport, (and as embarrassing as this sounds) I Googled a question that instantly brought tears to my eyes: “Does leaving family ever get easier when you live far away?” How sad is that? LOL. Sadly, I didn’t find the answer I was hoping for. Instead, I came across a bunch of blog comments like, “I’m 30 years old, living in the same town, and I’m jealous you could branch out,” and “Wow, you’re so brave.” That last one stuck with me. Moving away from home, the place where you can always feel like a kid again—a place filled with love and warmth, as I hope yours is too—is hard. No doubt about it. Whether you’ve moved 2,000 miles away, like me, or you’ve simply gotten your own apartment down the road from your parents, I’m SO proud of you.

Here’s the thing: as important as it is to appreciate the gratitude that comes from having people in your life that you long for when distance separates you, I want to normalize the overwhelming feelings of guilt that often come with leaving home. For me, the guilt comes in waves. Ever seen your dad—who’s always been strong and steady—actively holding back tears after a goodbye hug? Gets me every time. Or when you visit home and your baby cousin, who you swear was just a baby just last month, suddenly looks like a full-blown human being? That’s when the guilt really hits me. But then, as soon as I get back to my new home across the country—the one I’m starting to build on my own—everything feels alright again. I remind myself that I’m supported by the best kind of people and that no matter how far away I am, they’re always just a flight away.

I don’t think I’ll ever figure out how to fully navigate homesickness, but I do have a few things that help me embrace it and keep thriving despite its’ strong waves.

1. Always have the next visit planned.

This one is huge for me. (And, if you’re a long flight away, it’s an expensive one too! 😉) But knowing there’s a countdown to your next visit with family—whether it’s a trip to see them or a getaway together—makes such a difference when you’re feeling homesick, or when you're just having one of those “I need my mama” days. Because home isn’t just a place; it’s the people who fill it. And if you need to book a flight to make that visit happen, I highly recommend the Expedia app. It helps you track flight prices and alerts you when they go up or down. It's a game-changer.

2. Reflect on how much you’ve grown independently.

If you're like me, you believe that you are where you are for a reason. I don’t think it was ever in God’s plan for me to stay in my hometown (or even my home state) during this chapter of my life. I’ve grown in so many ways that would have been impossible if I had stayed. I've made the truest friends here in the South, for example, and sometimes, taking a moment to remember how far I’ve come helps me push through the homesick feelings.

3. FACETIME.

This is an obvious one, but it works! You can’t tell me a quick Facetime call with your big brother (even if it’s usually composed of him humbling you for 5 minutes straight) won’t brighten your day. Love you, Nicky!

4. Remember that you're never responsible for the emotions of your family members—but they have a right to them.

This is a big one. When you leave home, it’s easy to feel like you’re leaving behind a hole in the hearts of those you love. But you’re not responsible for how your family feels. They’re always going to love you, and they’re always going to miss you no matter how positive you try and be on the outside for them—but that’s a sign of just how much they care. Still, it’s okay to feel guilty sometimes. Just know that those feelings don’t mean you’ve done anything wrong.

So, for anyone who struggles with homesickness as I do, I’m sorry I can’t give you a perfect answer like I was hoping to find when I Googled that question. But what I can tell you is that homesickness was never meant to keep you from embracing this chapter of your life—the one you’ll only experience once, right now. So, try your best not to let it hold you back. Take a deep breath. How fortunate are we to be where our feet are while knowing we have an army of love and support waiting for us back home—the place that built us.