Reflecting on Six Months As a New Grad RN

“Give yourself grace!” “Be patient with yourself.” “Always ask for help when you need it.”

“Remember your why.”

These are the kinds of things we hear as new nurses entering the unfamiliar world of healthcare— a world we worked so hard to enter. We spent countless semesters grinding away to succeed, or at least meet the minimum requirements, just to see those two letters added to our name: RN. Those two letters together represent so much— determination, gratitude, and the opportunity to take the support we received ourselves to get to the finish line, and, in turn, be that support system for future patients battling their health.

When you’re finally done with the studying and clinicals in units you weren’t particularly excited about (though, let’s be real, you learned a lot from them), you get to put that license into practice. But on the job, you might be surprised by a type of learning nursing school could never have taught or prepared you for. You have to learn to give yourself time to find the nurse within you— the one you were always meant to become. You must humble yourself enough to allow others to build your knowledge and character.

You also have to always remember your why— my favorite piece of this crazy puzzle we’re all trying to piece together as we find our footing in this demanding career. Take a moment to think about the little boy or girl whose eyes lit up at the chance to help others. Pause and remember the shy fifth grader who, maybe, with a marker in hand, wrote ‘I want to make a difference’ when the class was told to write out their future goals on a piece of poster paper.

That child in you would be beaming at the sight of who you’ve become. This job is a calling. For me, I think about the soft-spoken high school girl who was struggling to figure out who she wanted to be—both as a person and as a professional. I remember sitting in a hospital room chair, seeing myself in the reflection of a nurse caring for my grandmother during my senior year. It was then I saw the path God was laying out for me. My “aha” moment. My mom saw it, too. We glanced at each other, and she said, “Bell, I think you need to look into nursing. This is so you.”

I’ll never forget venting to my best friend and roommate, Ashley, about how nervous I felt for my first day on my own, off orientation. For weeks leading up to it, I ran through scenarios in my mind where terrible things would happen—patients decompensating while I stood alone at their bedside. Come to find out, nurses on my unit aren’t just caretakers for our sweet patient population—they’re caretakers for one another, too. They remember what it was like to be in our shoes, and they make sure we’re never alone in those scary moments.

Ash snapped me out of my anxious rambling when she looked me in the eye and said, “I’m pretty sure you were literally born to do this. You’ll be just fine.” I repeated those words in my head the entire first day—of course along with many prayers for God to help me care for my kiddos. At the end of that chaotic first day, chills ran down my back when I came back to my desk and found a pink sticky note with Psalm 121:5 written on it. It was from one of my new work friends, and it was the reminder I needed that I was never alone that day and always.

Now, I realize I’ve only been in this role for six months, so I’m not going to sit here and pretend I have it all figured out or that I don’t get a stomachache of anxiety while standing in front of the mirror putting my hair up before work. I still call my boyfriend before most night shifts to get a pep talk when he senses my nerves over the phone.

It’s easy to hear the advice from more experienced nurses—be patient with yourself, don’t expect to know everything—and think it’ll be simple to put into practice. That is, until you walk off a shift at 7 a.m. or 7 p.m. and wonder, what just happened? Or when you’re running around the unit, trying to juggle a long list of tasks, only to feel like you barely know what you’re doing. It’s a lot harder to give yourself grace in those moments, especially if you, like me and, quite frankly everyone, hate feeling incompetent and the need to essentially fake your confidence just to get through the day.

But here’s the thing: we are learning more than we realize. Six months ago, I barely knew how to use the flushes I keep in my scrub pocket now, and I figured the world was most likely coming to an end whenever my patients would spike a new fever.

I hope this post reaches new-grad nurses who may be feeling the same way I feel on occasion—doubtful, overwhelmed, and maybe even questioning if they’re cut out for this job. You are not alone. One of the things I’m most grateful for finding through my job is the cohort of new coworkers and friends who I started this journey with. We have never failed to support and encourage each other and have honest conversations about how work is going for us all individually. We have planned several dinners and nights out together outside of work, which has helped bring so many more comforting faces to the unit.

If you have the opportunity to find a mentor, do it. Having someone to turn to for advice on things like career growth, setting boundaries with families, and just navigating the day-to-day has been extremely valuable.

Journaling has also been a huge help for me on my days off. It allows me to process the stress and emotions of work, look back at old pages of journal entries, and reflect on the progress I’ve made already as a nurse. It’s also a space where I can pray for my patients and their families when thoughts of them will not leave my mind. Speaking of off days—taking time for yourself is crucial, and the topic will soon become a blog post of mine in itself. Those days away from the hospital should help you reset, recharge, and remember that you are more than your job, even though it can consume so much of your thoughts.

One day, whether in six months or a year, I believe we’ll wake up for work without that anxious feeling of the unknown. We’ll walk into each shift ready for whatever comes our way. One day, we’ll sit on our off days and realize we haven’t thought about work at all. But for now, we’re still baby nurses, and from what I have heard, we may still feel like it even after countless new cohorts join the unit.

I pray that those of us new nurses can put on our fun-colored scrubs each day and reflect on the younger version of ourselves who only saw this as a dream at the time. There is absolutely nothing quite like being a nurse and getting to play such a tiny part in both the most joyous and deeply difficult moments in people’s lives. I believe that years from now, your patients are going to remember your soft smile, your kind words, and the little things about your character that helped them through the toughest moments of their life paths. The importance of this goes far beyond however long you have been in this role—one that is both an immense honor and a true privilege.